Royal Sampler

by The Stink

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about

Originally released in October of 2011, The Stink was never truly happy with how Royal Sampler sounded. In the Summer of 2013, the band went back into the studio and re-recorded all of the instrumental tracks and are now re-releasing the digitally remade album!

credits

released October 18, 2011

Produced by Dan Kramer and The Stink
Recorded at King Killer Studios

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about

The Stink New York, New York

In 2010, Dan Kramer and Dave Bunting (formerly of Guyz Nite) formed The Stink with drummer Tim Gramling (formerly of Federal Bison) with the goal of bringing throbbing high voltage rock.

Since October of 2011, The Stink has released 1 full-length album (Royal Sampler) and 3 EPs (American Glory, Beasts, and Trouble).
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Track Name: I Wanna Smell You
I want to smell you 'til the break of dawn
i want to smell you, is that wrong?

there's something that i gotta tell you, baby
there's something you ought to know
i've been watching you for some time
on the low, baby, on the low
i can see the direction we're taking
i can see that you're making a play
i can see that you've been mistaken
so before you get carried away, i gotta say

slow down, i don't want to touch you at all

I want to smell you 'til the break of dawn
i want to smell you, is that wrong?

i can tell you think it's freaky, honey
but it's something that's just for me, you see
and it's not like i'm taking your money
or i wanna get covered in pee
you're still here so i'll take it for granted
that you might be down for real
let me get big whiff of you, baby
and i promise that i'll make you squeal

slow down, i don't want to touch you at all

I want to smell you 'til the break of dawn
i want to smell you, is that wrong?
Track Name: Man-Eating Cougar
yeah, it's time for dinner
all day, stalking her prey, her patience wearing thin
can't deny the drive within her
for the feast, a glorious beast, now she's closing in

CHORUS:
there's no escape, man, you better pray
don't try no fancy maneuvers
cause you ain't gonna get away
not tonight, she's a man-eating cougar


yeah, she's a killer
long claws, powerful jaws, a healthy taste for men
and it takes a lot to fill her
big cat, simple as that, on the prowl again

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
ah she's a man-eating cougar
ah oh but i love her now
ah she's a man-eating cougar
ah oh


yeah, she's a hunter
red meat, always a treat, she never gets her fill
no, she can't control her hunger
cloth rips, she's licking her lips, she goes in for the kill
Track Name: Burly
I was born on a mountaintop, I live off the land
I kill bears with a single chop from my great big hand
I can eat whatever I want I've got animals for friends
I carved a house from a fuckin' rock and I'll do it again, because

I'm burly
I'm fuckin' sweet
I'm surly
don't fuck with me

I chew bark and I sleep in mud every single day
I skip rocks and i widdle wood, I've pissed my life away
I shit fire when I get real mad and I'll punch down a tree
Come on down to my woods one day and you'll see what I mean
Track Name: Fancy Debutante
she's a fancy debutante
yeah, she's well put together
in her shoes that match her parasol
and if she gets to flaunt
she'll be down for whatever
lookin' fancy when she's dancin' at the ball

yeah, she's a debutante, she's kept up on her tan
loungin' poolside in the afternoon
in her white chiffon, her sights set on a man
i hope she'll settle for a goon

cause all i want
is a fancy debutante

she ain't too impressed with me
no she's far too conceded
going dancing with her fancy friends
she'll take the SUV
now that mom doesn't need it
mom takes the caddy now that daddy drives a benz

but for a fancy gown, no hand-me-down could be
the type of dress a baroness would wear
just take a glance around her fancy town, you'll see
they're all stuck up, but i don't care!

cause all i want
is a fancy debutante

in a fancy restaurant
i'll have a blue johnny walker
she'll have a greyhound with a twist of lime
yeah, she's a debutante
and i'm a cool party rocker
i'm living easy on her dime!

and all i want
is a fancy debutante
Track Name: The Bully
night rolls in, it's time to find some trouble
see a star and put it in it's place
every night he rises from the rubble
to find a geek and punch him in the face

life ain't easy for the bully, no one takes his side, he knows he must make it on his own
no one dances with the bully, but that don't hurt his pride
the bully would rather dance alone

people say he's really just a coward
and over-compensation is his way
all his life he never had that real kind of power
so someone small and weaker has to pay

life ain't easy for the bully, no one takes his side, he knows he must make it on his own
no one dances with the bully, but that don't hurt his pride
the bully would rather dance alone

and no one ever tries to understand

life ain't easy for the bully, no one takes his side, he knows he must make it on his own
no one dances with the bully, but that don't hurt his pride
the bully would rather dance alone
Track Name: Sexy Nurse (She Likes To Dance)
when i get down with a sickness
lying in bed, feel like hell
there ain't no meds to help me kick this
there's only one thing that can make me well
she dances in to me so fucking sexy
her hat, her shoes, her uniform all white
she runs some tests to assess me
then gives me sexy healthcare through the night

cause she's my sexy nurse
(she she she likes to dance)
she's my sexy nurse
(she she she likes to dance)
she heals me where it hurts
(she she she likes to dance)
she's my sexy nurse
(she she she likes to dance)

when i'm laid up with a fever
she cools me down then gets me hot again
and then it's my turn to relieve her
prep her for injection, i descend
she says it stings for a second
but it's only pleasure once it breaks the skin
and now she always comes when i beckon
i love that sexy nursey medicine

and what a sexy nurse
(she she she likes to dance)
she's my sexy nurse
(she she she likes to dance)
she heals me where it hurts
(she she she likes to dance)
she's my sexy nurse
(she she she likes to dance)
Track Name: Rockbringer
when i was just a child, a god appeared to me
his hair was long and wild, he was smelling of the sea
with fire in his eyes and thunder on his breath
he came down from the skies and he wore the sign of death
and he said:

my child, i will redefine style
when i'm in the zone, i'll dethrone any king
my style is so fucking buckwild
it will make you smile then defile everything

cause i'm the rockbringer! sex singer!
part god, part man, part animal
behold, I'm fucking bold
yeah!

he gathered some fire, he gathered up some clay
he built a small empire that is rocking to this day
but since the fall of rock, we've had to hide away
til he rejoined his flock and retaught us how to play
and he said

my sons, you were deified once
time to load the guns, no fronts, talk is old
a sick track running through a big stack
like a sneak attack bringing back rock and roll

cause i'm the rockbringer! sex singer!
part god, part man, part animal
behold, I'm fucking bold
yeah! yeah! yeah!
rockbringer! cock slinger!
part god, part man, part animal
behold, I'm fucking bold
yeah!
Track Name: The Fun Stuff (The Party's On)
I said hey!
clap your hands and say hooray!
yeah, the party's on today!
we got the fun stuff!

well, hey you!
yeah, you've got nothing to do!
so come and party with us!
there's nothing left to discuss!
so you better stop by, man, the party's on!
you can bring your big truck and park it right on the lawn!
cause it's a party!
we'll have triscuits and havarti!

ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

I said hey!
clap your hands and say hooray!
yeah, the party's on today!
we got the fun stuff!

well, alright!
we're gonna party tonight!
we got a couple o' kegs!
and some great deviled eggs!
i know that you know what i'm talking about!
we got the hot dogs grilling on the back of the truck!
i said hot dogs!
yeah i'm talking about the hot dogs!

ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Track Name: The Strain
when Greggson found the strain that undid all mankind
he tried his best to just not let it spread
but Greggson was too late, for he had gone half-blind
and so he called the CDC and said:

can't you see what we've got here? i'll repeat if it's not clear
to "wait and see" would be insane!
don't you see what the facts mean? what we need is a vaccine
we need a way to kill the strain

or it could be the end of us
mankind is circling the drain
don't let this be the end of us

after just a week, millions had gone blind
the CDC was nothing but a joke
but Greggson was a geek and so he went online
he hooked his camera up and then he spoke:

people you need to believe me, no this ain't gonna be on your TV
listen to me and i'll explain
it's real bad, as millions of you know, but some of you will be immune though
and your blood can help me cure the strain

or it could be the end of us
mankind is circling the drain
don't let this be the end of us
Track Name: The Blind Eating the Blind
In the first year, when the darkness fell
'twas man's worst fear brought to life in a living hell
all men lost sight, and the dark ensued
but all men must fight to provide their kind with food

and when a man died in a bloody defeat, his body left behind in the aftermath
other blind men smelled blood in the street
they only wanted meat, they didn't mean to eat...

the blind!
eating the blind eating the blind
it's the blind!
the blind eating the blind the blind eating the blind

on the bright side, a few were still not blind
those with sight tried an attempt to save mankind
but food was scarce and the demand was high
so a fair plan was devised: some live some die

they served up meat ground into a paste and everybody said it was crazy sauce
the blind came to eat, they'd been starving for days
they didn't like the taste but they couldn't quite place...

the blind!
eating the blind eating the blind
it's the blind!
the blind eating the blind the blind eating the blind
Track Name: Burn On the Water
we are gathered here today
all thanks to a man who dreamed of a better way
he selected us, protected us, a debt we must repay
so now we hang our heads and pray
well, his name was angus, he was a fucking good man
now just an empty shell, he's gone
though his job was thankless, his vision was fucking grand
and so his memory shall live on

back when the world first went insane
he was the only man who tried to use his brain
he'd provide assistance to the misfits who were resistant to the strain
and he helped us through the pain
so we make a pyre - the best damn pyre we can make
and we place him up on top
and then we light the fire and push it out into the lake
stand back and watch it

burn on the water
burn on the water
burn on the water
from the shore

Angus Greggson was his name
he didn't cause this mess but he shouldered all the blame
he protected us and yet he was infected just the same
and now it's such a fucking shame

so we make a pyre - the best damn pyre we can make
and we place him up on top
and then we light the fire and push it out into the lake
stand back and watch it

burn on the water
burn on the water
burn on the water
from the shore